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21-Sep-2016 08:43

“My friends tease me for having a ‘gay boyfriend.’ ” Despite my very clear attraction to my ex-girlfriend, she, like many straight women, allowed gender stereotypes to end our relationship.

Femininity, on the other hand, is weak and attracts masculinity.

Alone, I blended in quite nicely with the queer mosaic of the crowd.

However, I was with my ex-girlfriend, and as we passionately made our bodies and lips into one on the dancefloor, it wasn’t my look that was turning people’s heads.

To be clear, these gender misconceptions hurt gays and lesbians, too.

Many people automatically assume butch women are lesbians because of their masculinity, and those same people show surprise when feminine women identify as lesbian.Here’s the trouble: While femininity can be dangerous for gay men, it is somewhat expected of them—a form of behavior or mode of self-presentation they are “allowed.” For bi guys like me, even a little femininity threatens to erase our entire identity. Both the straight and LGBTQ community regularly speculate on the veracity of my sexuality.